Sunday, August 10, 2014

what lies within you when there's a war around you

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. 
{Ralph Waldo Emerson}

She has never known darkness like the kind she is feeling her way hesitantly around in...lost...scared.
Sometimes life comes out of nowhere and knocks the breath right out of you.  Every attempt at filling your lungs is met with the feeling of suffocation.  Have you ever been there?  Watching events unfold that your brain can not process...that your heart can not possibly accept.

My friend is in that place.

I don't begin to understand.
I don't try to interpret her feelings...they belong only to her.
I don't attempt to view the situation from her perspective...she's the only one with the front row seat to this nightmare.

I only have my own feelings and my own perspective and within those I find little to offer at a desperate time like this.
What I would really like to do is walk up softly behind her and grab firmly onto her shoulders and begin leading her backwards...slowly...slowly...allowing her feet to feel their way along.

I would keep walking, keep guiding, until she was far enough away from the dark...high enough above the thickness of grief to sense the thinning of the air offering breath back to her lungs.

I would stop and stand behind her...still holding her up with my hands and just listening to her breathe...listening to that sign of life...waiting for her to hear it too...that she's breathing...still breathing.

And then I would whisper what I see from this distance...away from the middle of the nightmare.
I see a war being waged but I see the promise of victory.
I see something...there...right on the smack-dab middle of the battlefield that is illuminating the darkness.
I see the light growing in strength and the darkness being pushed back further and further until every enemy is defeated...until life and light return.

The source of the light is her.  I see it even now.

The Son of light lives inside of her...took up residence there a long time ago and she has been stoking those flames of the Holy Spirit faithfully for years.  She doesn't have the strength to do much stoking right now but it doesn't matter because this wild wind of change that has just blown in makes the flames grow on their own.
That is the beauty of facing trials as a child of God - they don't extinguish your faith, they feed your faith.

The power that rose Jesus from the grave is living...and breathing...inside of her now.

The severity of this situation has set itself right in front of her.  It's all she can see...but I can see what is behind her eyes, what is within her soul, and it's shedding light on every miserable bit of this situation.  The victory that is coming will bring untold spoils and acquisitions...perhaps a whole new kingdom worth of freedom to herself and her family because she is standing there in the middle of the battlefield as a beacon of light and truth going face-to-face with the enemy.

And she has an army of light-bearers behind her that will not let her back down.

Are you standing with anyone in battle today?
Or maybe you are the one watching some piece of your own kingdom being destroyed.  If so, I'm so very sorry.

In either case, I'm praying that you or someone you love will put a finger on the confident hope that will not disappoint and say - there...that belongs to you.



Friday, August 1, 2014

first friday finds :: august 2014

{It's #firstfridayfinds time again and here's this month's unedited, 15 minutes worth of truth.  
Please share yours at the bottom too!  The link will be up all week.  Here's how.}
The first friday of the month is almost over and I am barreling down the racetrack, screaming in here on two wheels.  Fifteen minutes at 10pm is truly all I have today, but I have definitely uncovered some nuggets of truth in the passage I just read...{beeeeep...beeeeep...beeeeep} that's me backing up the truck...and here comes the dump...

Ever heard that crazy story about Jesus feeding five thousand people with five loaves and two fish

Friday, July 25, 2014

how to take your time

When we arrived last night the gray clouds hung like a veil over the mountains.  This morning the curtains have lifted and we have a front row seat to the beauty of the Shenandoah Valley.


Sunday, July 20, 2014

learning to die {the painfully precious process}

The morning sun is breaking the sky open outside my window.
Indigo clouds drift slowly behind the trees, outlined with light.

Night is over.
Day has come.
We move from darkness to light...every day.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

when you're looking for answers {chicago with lucy}

I have this blown glass Christmas ornament that is hand painted.  It is so fragile and beautiful that every year I hold my breath as I remove it from the red velvet box and display it on the tree for everyone to see. 
To hold it too loosely 
or too tightly 
would be to destroy it.

That's how I feel about the past few days...
...like wrapping words around them for you might cause them to shatter into tiny unrecognizable pieces.
Here goes...

Thursday, July 3, 2014

first friday finds :: july 2014

{It's #firstfridayfinds time again and here's this month's unedited, 15 minutes worth of truth.  
Please share yours at the bottom too!  Here's how.}
It's the fourth of July and I don't think this post is going to be the least bit patriotic...I apologize.
I've only got 15 minutes so let's see where this goes...

I envy people who are not crazy.  I'm being serious.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

5 ways to reset your heart {and start your weekend off right}

Some mornings my hair dryer won't turn on.
I hit it on the palm of my hand.
Shake it a little bit.
Slide the power button up and down.
And then suddenly remember...duh...
the reset button...
...that little red button on the plug that you never really pay attention to until everything just quits working.
Sometimes life feels like it has just quit working.  No matter how many times you try to shake yourself out of it there is an oppressive feeling that won't let you turn your heart back on.  Some people call it depression or a 'funk'.  I call it a life that needs resetting.

There are all sorts of ways to reset your heart but here are five that helped me this week...

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

the girl at starbucks

Her freckled face was framed with curly red hair.  I noticed because as she walked past me her neck turned to allow her a longer look.  I lifted my head and smiled.  Her half-smile broke open wide and her eyes seemed to gaze longingly...taking in the whole scene of me.
It sounds strange, I know...to think that a pre-teen girl following her father into Starbucks would long for my life.  A life of juggling motherhood and sick children and work and writing and the schedule that comes along with a busy family of four.  Maybe my hair was standing straight up or I had egg on my face...or maybe it really was a longing look.