Tuesday, May 5, 2009

let me (re)introduce myself...

...to the world...

the past few months have been...um...well...i don't quite know how to explain.  it's all part of the fog i've been living in.  

i think that there are some times in our lives when we go into survival mode and begin living inside a little bubble that allows for a very thin transparent (though sometimes distorted) wall between us and the rest of the world.  my psycho-analytical self believes this to be a form of self-preservation...it may just be taking the easy way out.  either way - i've been living there - in the bubble.  

this past week God poked a hole in my bubble and basically told me to get over it and get outta there.  

so...here i am...still riding the waves of pregnancy hormones...still processing the death of a loved one...still trying to bring simplicity to my far-from-organized home...still trying to figure out what it will mean to be a working mother of 2...still facing the yearning in my heart for more adoptions...

...but not at the expense of living every day BOLDLY and with passion and conviction (thank you Francis Chan).

so...if it seemed like i had fallen off the face of the earth...i sort of did...but i've clawed my way back...and as you can see...i've still had my little sunshine (and my hero husband) all along the way...not to mention a thousand other blessings big and small...

'When i no more can stir my soul to move, 
And life is but the ashes of a fire;
When i can but remember that my heart once used to live and love, long and aspire;
Be thou then the first, the one thou art;
Be thou the calling, before all answering LOVE,
And in me wake HOPE, FEAR, and BOUNDLESS DESIRE.'
~George MacDonald (The Diary of an Old Soul)