Wednesday, April 13, 2011

aunt lizzy...late as usual...

happy birthday jilly bug! 
{one day late}


this past weekend the kiddos and i took a quick trip south to celebrate jill's 1st birthday.  birthdays are always special but this one was different.  
this one reminded me of the significance of really celebrating the fact that someone was born.  celebrating that it was within God's divine plan that they would be part of your life this side of heaven.  
i'm usually the person who forgets everyone's birthday...but they are important.  and april 12 is one day i will never forget.


if you aren't familiar with jill's story you can take a quick peek at my blog posts from april 2010 - this one - is a good place to start.  and this one tells a little more of the story.


jill's entrance into this world was not typical...it wasn't even expected at one point.  but there is a difference between expectations and hope...right?  


expectations are based on past experience and statistical analysis and professional opinions.  expectations come from flawed human thinking.


hope is based on faith.  hope comes from God.


i think there are probably countless lessons that God has taught us by breathing life into our sweet jill elizabeth.  i think He gifted each of us who witnessed her struggle to be born into this world with the perfect lesson that was in it for us.  this is the biggest one that he gave to me...


from the moment that i knew my best friend was pregnant and there could be complications...to the night that i got the frantic call from the emergency room that something unexpected had happened...to the news that the complications were far different and far greater than we had imagined...to the hospital room where i curled up in the bed next to megan and prayed through tears for the life of that child in her belly...to april 12, 2010 when a precious, healthy baby girl entered this world...


in the middle of all these difficult days.  i knew this day would come...
and then this day...
...not because of any calculated expectations.
because of hope.

sometimes God doesn't give life.  he allows death.  
sometimes he doesn't permit our heart's desire.  he presents us with our greatest fear.  
in all of this, those of us who follow christ know he is working for our good.  
there's a big picture...we don't always see it.
having said that...  

during the season of uncertainty surrounding jill's birth God gave me permission to ask for a miracle.  and i did.  i have often prayed for healing for others.  i have never prayed with all of my heart for a miracle and been so sure that God had already answered my prayer.  if i am honest...before jill i never quite approached the throne of God with the confidence that i should have.  in the quiet corners of my heart God whispered this to me...
you want her to live.  you're afraid to ask. don't be.  
i can do all things.  i can do this.  ask me to.
and i did.  time and time again i pleaded for jill's life with a heart full of hope that can only come from one place...

we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us...
romans 5:3-5