Thursday, March 29, 2012

finding joy in fields of clover {and piles of poop}

sometimes we literally hold hands through fields of clover...
and delight in the beauty and wonder of the world around us...
sometimes i gladly let my kids ride horses in their pj's...

and laugh when they wind up climbing on piles of poop in their bare feet.


but then sometimes my life just ain't that pretty...that's the reality.  



 sometimes {ok...a lot of times} my house looks like this...
this was not staged...trust me... 
{have you ever seen a kitchen counter covered with yarn, thomas underwear, a Bible, homemade cards, and dozens of other random things??}

   sometimes hands are used for hitting instead of holding and the nasty fights i break up result in wounded bodies and hearts.
  sometimes i look at the world around me through eyes of stress and anxiety rather than delight and wonder.
  sometimes the simplest request to do something inconvenient or out of the ordinary {or heaven forbid - dirty} sends me into a tailspin.
  sometimes the weight of my responsibilities leads me to speak in anger instead of love, to respond out of stress rather than peace.  
  sometimes i'm so far off the mark that my actions are based on desperation rather than faith.


but here's what i'm learning...  
the way i experience each day isn't so much about the situations i face as it is the posture of my heart when i face them.  


today i forgot to pack my kids' lunch for school {who can keep these preschool party schedules straight anyway?!?}.  and i had to discipline my 3 year old for shoving her brother's head into the cabinets over a plastic egg.  and i peeled my screaming 2 year old up off of the driveway with bloody knees.  and i found out that my husband won't be making it home in time for dinner with us...again.  and i didn't have enough time to tackle even half of my to-do list.  and my house actually does look like those pictures you just saw.


some days any one of those things would break me.  today i'm still whole.


i think it has something to do with the fact that my heart is still carrying these words that i read during my quiet time this morning {which, by the way, typically happens on the floor of my bedroom closet at 6 a.m. where i am trying to be as silent as possible so i can squeeze in a few reflective moments before my kids wake up and find me}...


...letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death.  but letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace...
...the spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you.  and just as God raised Christ from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you...
{romans 8:6 & 11}

knowing that kind of power lives within me changes everything.  
knowing that the spirit of the most good and holy and loving Savior can control my mind and my heart gives me the strength to fight for joy {no matter what the day brings or how persistent my 'sinful nature' can be}.  

next sunday when people around the world come together to celebrate a risen King this is the truth that will make my heart sing {and probably my eyes weep}...
just as God raised Christ from the dead, he gives that life to little old me {and you}...
new...
every day.