Wednesday, May 9, 2012

above all

have you ever done something and then later felt this heavy, hard, cold stone of regret hanging from your neck for having done it?


i felt that way this morning.  


i posted something on facebook in response to the debate over the marriage amendment that was just passed in north carolina.  
{btw - if you want to see the actual amendment click here.  it is surprisingly difficult to find it on-line.  i had to dig through all kinds of articles and commentaries about the bill before i could find the real thing.}  


my intention was not to stir up trouble or create division with my post but that's what seems to have happened.  i have my own personal convictions about the amendment and whether or not it should have passed but honestly i can see both sides of it.  maybe that makes me wishy-washy or someone who doesn't stand strong in her beliefs...but it's the truth.  


i will plant my feet in the ground and withstand stones thrown in my face to declare my belief in jesus as the lord and savior of my life...but there is grayness in other issues.  and i definitely don't claim to be a political scholar.  


the 'unsettled' feeling i had about all of this really wasn't so much about the fact that the law passed as it was about people's response {and in some cases...attacks} to those on the other side of the fence from them.


fox news published an article titled effect of nc gay marriage amendment unclear.


and i guess that's true...the effects are unclear.  the effects of any of our decisions are unclear. every day of my life i make decisions to the best of my ability and the outcome is sometimes great and other times disastrous.  but my God...who exists outside of space and time...knows every one of the these decisions before they are made.  he knows what they will lead to...good and bad.  and if we offer up our lives...and every decision they involve...he promises to weave together the ones filled with hope and the ones filled with regret to create something beautiful...something complete and redeemed.


today was 'muffins for mommies' day at my kids' preschool.  i got to sit down with each of them and have breakfast in their classrooms.  
i was presented with precious gifts.  i was hugged and kissed and had a poem recited to me.  i felt so loved.  
despite all the times we've disagreed.  despite all my shortcomings.  despite all my failures...i felt completely loved.  i want to love others that way too.


and so i make a public apology if i created any more division or hurt this morning and i pray that God's grace would replace dissension and hostility with harmony as we keep trying...to put on love...above all.


above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. ~ colossians 3:14