Wednesday, May 23, 2012

the one who made me a mama

'three' is over and much i'm glad to be past, yet more i want to hold onto.  
{one year ago today}
the traces of baby in that face are gone now...replaced with a girl.  and so we step into 'four' wide-eyed and ready to see where this year will take us.
lucy...the child i cut my teeth on.  i sometimes fear the scars she has to prove it.  the cutting…the puncturing of her heart as i parented her inadequately…through trial and error…taking my first shot at this thing called motherhood.  the one whose arrival marked the moment i officially became a parent…in whose sweet face i finally began to face much of my own deep-rooted sin.  i battled the anger at myself because of what i saw...reflections of the rough places within me.  there were moments it seeped out to her.  i pray she will forget those...remembering instead all the times i cherished her...stood in awe of her presence in my life.  the child who i set out to teach, but who instead has taught me…who has shed LIGHT in dark corners of my heart. 

when i named my children the meaning of their names were important to me.   i wanted to bless them in the naming.  i thought perhaps i was speaking something into their lives…giving them some bit of goodness that they would carry and share with the world around them.  i didn’t know all the ways that their names would bless me…would define the ways that they shaped my own life.  
lucy - shining light into the darkest corners of my heart...the difficulty and freedom in what was found there.  oliver - who arrived in the midst of my difficult discoveries bringing peace to my battered and bruised spirit…the hard-fought healing that they have brought into this world for me. 
and so today i celebrate my girl.  to know her is to love her…truly.  let me tell you why…
she loves dressing like a princess and digging in the dirt.  
she is a songwriter.
she has started this lovely habit of humming sweetly to herself when she is nervous or upset.  
she makes her little brother laugh.  
her spirit has a wildness that i could never tame {and so i'm learning to embrace it...}.   
she is a story-teller.  
she occasionally allows me the rare privilege of curling her up in my arms.  
her memory is like a steel trap.  
she asks me every night when I tuck her in if we can play and laugh together {this = laying down next to each other making silly faces and giving eskimo kisses}.  
she loves people.  
she does dramatic reenactments of movie scenes all by herself {and occasionally with her brother debuting in a role such as 'donkey' from shrek}.
her prayers are full of thanksgiving and concern for others.
she makes friends within 60 seconds of meeting someone on the playground.  
she likes drinking water.  
she believes.
she pronounces her ‘L’s like ‘Y's so she calls herself ‘yucy’.  
she has an imagination that can take you anywhere.  
she's a rhyming rockstar that could put ice cube to shame.  
her eyes say a million things that words could never express...and invite me to dive into their depths whenever i catch their gaze. 

{my light}
:: happy birthday to my girl ::

what do you love about lucy?

God :: i pray a blessing of kindness over lucy.  i pray that over this year she would learn to resist the temptation to repay evil for evil and instead treat others with kindness and compassion {1 thessalonians 5:15}.   tie this virtue around her neck {psalm 3:3}.  may she sense the depth of the rich and undeserved kindness you offer her and hold those same gifts out to others {ephesians 1:7}.  i pray that she would find that same kindness in me...lavished on her.