Tuesday, September 18, 2012

pouring

there was a day last week when the sky was so heavy with moisture that you could almost feel it weighing down on your head.  it was like one of those lead blankets that they use at the dentist's office...covering the sky...so thick that the sun couldn't poke it's way through.  
it just wouldn't rain.  
i felt like at any minute the sky would open up and everything up there would come pouring down...but it never did.
a wise friend of mine said these words to me before i delivered a message at our church a few weeks ago - 'girl...you are so full and now you're just ready to pour it all out.'  she was right.  so right.

i am thankful for opportunities to pour.  writing, speaking, creating...there are so many ways that we can take the fullness of what we possess and then open up and let it fall onto others.  sometimes we are full of joy and thanksgiving.  sometimes we are full of wisdom and truth.  and then other times we are filled with sorrow and heartache.  or maybe even grief and shame.  there are so many things that can fill us up - both good and bad - but when filtered through the truth of God's word and His promises they can wash over us and those around us leaving us feeling clean and fresh and new.

when the clouds won't open up...when we won't open up...we start to feel heavy, burdened, maybe even oppressed.  we are filled to be poured.  when the pouring doesn't happen the whole flow stops...it doesn't feel good.  the sun just can't seem to break through.
today i am witnessing a downpour.  i heard it washing over my roof the moment i opened my eyes this morning.  as i write i glance up and see streams of rainwater running off my deck and then instantly refilled with more big, steady, dancing drops.  i know that soon the clouds will be empty and the blue skies will be revealed.

maybe it's the weather...or maybe it's the fact that i am feeling just sick enough to stay home and rest on a day normally busy and full of tasks...whatever the reason...my words are pouring out like the rain drenching my yard this morning.  

i have been sitting at my computer for over two hours writing...and that steady rainfall continues.  it's a strange feeling...that emptying...that pouring out.  momentarily i feel resolve...i feel my writing work is done.  then i start to fill again...with another idea birthed, another truth revealed, another story in need of telling, another feeling that should be shared...and i know i will need to find time for the pouring again.

what does your pouring out look like?  or are you feeling like those heavy clouds...so full and ready to open up?