Wednesday, October 31, 2012

before all else fails...

do you ever have these haunting thoughts that maybe you are ruining your kids?  maybe you have absolutely no idea what you are doing.  maybe you have wasted the first four years of her life by parenting her all wrong.  maybe you have ruined his sweet spirit by speaking too harshly to him.  maybe you have completely lost control over their behavior and you will never be able to have any type of positive influence in their lives ever again...

please tell me you find yourself on these downward spirals.  sometimes mine go down way farther than that.

you know that saying - when all else fails...

sometimes i'm afraid that when it comes to motherhood i would fill in that blank with...

when all else fails...pray.

it's all wrong i know.  to wait until the bottom falls out to entrust my family to more capable hands.  to work myself into a tizzy before i drop to my knees and surrender.

if there is one thing i have learned as a mother it is this...

before all else fails - pray.

pray for my own heart to be filled with patience and kindness and love and grace.

pray for their hearts to open up to mine and somehow find Jesus there.

pray for forgiveness for the small missteps and the colossal failures.

pray for joy in serving.

pray that the Holy Spirit would be so present in our hearts and our home that each of our lives would be swept up into a life of eternal promises rather than lives weighed down heavy by the empty promises of this world.

pray that their heavenly Father would do the work in them that I am incapable of.

being a mother is so hard.  i never could have imagined quite how much this role would challenge me, stretch me, pain me, and also bring me the deepest joy i have ever known.

...and so i have learned not to mother alone.  i have learned to parent from a position of dependence on the One who created my children and knows what is best for them {and for me}.  and so i pray.

i love these words from sally clarkson...

how do we make the commitment to give the area of motherhood over to God as a sacrifice of worship to him?  we yield our personal rights into his hands.  we give up our time and expectations to him - and also our fears and worries about how we will manage.  we trust him to take care of us and our family.  we let him redirect our thinking and expectations and adjust our dreams.  and we wait in faith to see the fruit of our hard labor in the lives of our children, knowing that he will be faithful to honor our commitment to him. 
{from the mission of motherhood}

and so the 31 days have come and gone.  thanks for joining me.
tomorrow i take full advantage of my mommy role by packing my kids up and heading south to the magical land of a famous mouse...more on that to come...