Wednesday, January 2, 2013

what's the war you're waging this year?


so i'm running a half marathon.  i hope.
ever since my daughter was born four and a half years ago my physical fitness has seriously suffered.  i have good intentions but that hasn't gotten me far.  

last year my husband tried to get me to run a half marathon with him.  i didn't think i had time to train so i signed up for the 5K instead.  i figured that would still give me something to work for.  it didn't.

with my cross country background, my relatively long legs, and the built-in exercise i get from chasing my kids around...i can run a 5K...any day of the week.

and so without training one bit i went out and ran that 5K last march.  i even finished 2nd in my age division.  a nice accomplishment but it didn't accomplish what i wanted it to.  i didn't want the cheesy medallion {though my kids have had fun playing with it}.  what i wanted was to find a way to push myself out of my comfort zone.  i wanted to rise to the challenge of making myself better in some way.  i wanted to so something that i wasn't sure i had it in me to do.

with two months standing between me and a half marathon i am being challenged.  i like it.  i started training two weeks ago and i'm up to five miles.  that's a long way from 13 so i will have to keep pushing.    

running isn't the only part of my life where i am stepping out of my comfort zone...where i am feeling weak and ill-equipped.  

these words and the way that i write them and speak them are making me uncomfortable too.  i am finding myself in situations to offer them to others on bigger platforms {both virtual and the kind you stand on with a microphone}.  just like the running it's uncomfortable.  it's hard work.  it requires stretching.  it is beyond anything i feel capable of.  some days i don't know if i will make it.  but...it brings me to the place i want to be this year - in desperate dependence on a God who promises to be the strength in my weaknesses.  in this i find my confidence to keep going.

these situations all plant within my soul a fighting spirit.  there are so many battles to be won in my own flesh and i need to come out swinging if i want victory
over fear
over pride
over bitterness
over selfishness
over apathy

as part of my battle plan i have spent some time lately loading my ipod with songs to get me fired up.  if you need a little something to get you going on your new years resolutions {or non-resolutions} try this one.  it's one of the best 'get out there and kick some butt' songs i've found.  and honestly...it gets to the heart of how i hope to live this year.   
{and i bet you never knew john piper was into rap music}
what is the war you're waging this year?