Monday, March 4, 2013

when a 'people person' gets alone


yesterday morning i sat by myself in a coffee shop somewhere between asheville and hendersonville and everything around me was unfamiliar.  i loved it.  
sometimes when i am traveling away from home i imagine how lovely it would be to live in that place.  to be able to explore strange streets and discover hidden things.  unfortunately part of the appeal of an unfamiliar place is my anonymity...and the reality is that it would take about 5 seconds of living somewhere before i started making friends.  
i love people as much as i love being alone.  
i'm so weird.

being offered a fresh new start is...well...so refreshing to me.  i am drawn to the opportunity and intrigue associated with new things more than i am held by the comfort and safety of routine things.  i used to be willing to upend my life if it meant a chance to begin again.  instead God has been teaching me how to have fresh new starts right where i am.  Jesus is the king of ‘new’ so it’s been pretty amazing to see him spread it all over old me - anytime, any place.

as i left that coffee shop in the mountains and walked out to my car to head home, the snow fell soft.  i studied the flakes that drifted past me.  they seemed to be the tiniest fluffy feathers from a bird that could fit on the top of a thimble.  as the sun broke through the pines the light hit their angles just right so that i suddenly felt i was being showered in glitter.  

the slowing of last weekend helped me notice such things.  
i crave time alone so desperately because my blind eyes experience moments of clear vision.  i can better see that which surrounds me and that which indwells me.  
the words come flooding in such a rush that i have to flap my hands above my head grabbing for the closest pen or keys to tie them down into place.  
writers need time alone.

and then they need to come back home.  
once you feel back to life you have to get back to life and suddenly even the everyday is brand new again.