Saturday, August 31, 2013

things i learned in august {the divergent post}

she must have looked back at me a dozen times as she climbed the platforms up to the top.  every time our eyes met i gave her a thumbs up and smiled a brave smile...even though i felt my stomach tying into knots on the inside.  when she reached the top of the slide i thought she had changed her mind...
mommy - i'm so afraid.
i thought to myself - me too, baby.
but instead i said - listen for my voice. i will call up to you from the bottom.
i stuck my head into the tube at the bottom and said in the most assured voice i could muster - i'm right here waiting on you.
when i pulled my head up i saw her smiling at the top and then heard the thud of her hopping in for the ride of her little life.
when her body hit the water i held my breath too.
she popped up with a goggle-faced grin and yelled - that was awesome!  then she doggy paddled her way over to my outstretched leg.
i wasn't even wearing my bathing suit at the pool that day.  

Monday, August 26, 2013

stop and taste the crabapples

here's a fun fact for you...
it takes me half as much time as it takes my husband to mow the grass.
i'm not trying to brag.  i'm just stating a fact, but...

Friday, August 23, 2013

how to really make an impact in this world

yesterday was my husband's birthday.  
he's the most special man i know, so i wanted the day to reflect that.  
he serves and sacrifices for me all year long, so i wanted to serve him.
he appreciates a clean house, so i wanted at least part of it to be presentable {by this i mean no half-used watercolors and dirty clothes on the table where i was serving dinner}.

i think i succeeded on all accounts.  
he even told me the salmon i made was the best he ever had {score!}.

Monday, August 19, 2013

we refuse {what it means to be an esther generation}

an average jewish girl, adopted by her cousin following the death of her parents...
of all the dreams she may have held in her heart, being the queen of persia probably wasn't one of them.  or maybe it was.  
maybe the promise of royalty had been whispered to her by the One who would eventually give her favor with the king.  but even then it would have been difficult for her to actually believe.

i heard this song on the radio as i drove to church to deliver the message on esther this week.  as i sang along to the familiar words i realized this could have been esther's anthem.
it could be ours.

she refused...
to make excuses.
to say empty prayers.
to turn her back.
to sit around and wait for someone else to do what God had called her to do herself.

Friday, August 16, 2013

the haiti we saw with our own eyes

the showers are cold in haiti.
this was probably one of lucy's least favorite parts of the trip.  like her mama she takes her showers steamy hot.
but despite the cold showers and the absence of t.v.'s lucy still cried real tears last night when she told me...
mommy, i wasn't ready to leave.

i never could have imagined how haiti would wrap her arms around my girl and hug her tight.  everywhere we went the people responded to her with with love and warmth.  they ran gentle fingers through her hair and looked deep in her eyes.  they laughed with joy at the sight of her and pleaded for her attention.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

why i'm taking my 5 year old to haiti

dear lucy,

the last time you boarded a plane it was to visit 'the happiest place on earth'.  
you had your first glimpse at larger than life mice with big plastic grins.  
you strolled the perfectly swept streets, past the perfectly manicured lawns, listening to perfectly delightful music that played like a theme song to your perfect life.  
when the sun beat down heavy we escaped into cool buildings where neatly dressed people smiled warmly and offered you an ice cream bar with chocolate ears.  you gobbled it up until only a stick remained.  
you tasted adventure on those whirling rides as the wind swept through your tiny curls.  
but there was one you asked to board again...and again...

you slid onto that bench next to me as the boat rocked gently in the water.  your eyes were wide with wonder as we lurched forward and fell into the current of the river that would take us around the world.

it's a world of laughter,
a world of tears.
it's a world of hopes,
and a world of fears...

Friday, August 9, 2013

behind a closed door {my wish for you this weekend}

mama writers write wherever and whenever we can.  
when inspiration strikes we are lucky if we are in a position to snatch it up and get it down into words.  

sometimes our hands are holding sippy cups under faucets and tissues over noses and ladles in pots.  we are so busy holding everything together that we can’t let go long enough to put palms up and catch the fleeting thoughts before they are blown away beyond arm’s length.  
this morning the words came rushing and so i ushered the kids downstairs to daddy and slipped my laptop under my arm and came racing back upstairs to close the door behind me...

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

could this really be one of the hardest things i've ever done?

i want to confess that i have not been sharing all of my words with you.  {deep breath}
i've been keeping some on the side for a book i am writing. {big gulp}

writing hundreds of words for a blog post can lead to a shift in the way you think.  
writing thousands of words for the chapters of a book can lead to a shift in the way you live. 

over the past month i have felt a shift.

it was as if someone kept whispering this little suggestion in my ear.  
i'm embarrassed to say that for weeks i wrestled with whether or not i could actually follow-through with the suggestion.  the wrestling and my inability to give an immediate 'yes' was an affirmation that a change really did need to take place. goes...

Monday, August 5, 2013

when you get a pit in your stomach

Have you ever had that awful feeling way down deep?

I call it a 'pit in my stomach' but it's really more like a wild, reckless tornado that twists inside of me destroying any semblance of safety or peacefulness.  It rearranges every thought and emotion that once seemed strong until they are left like broken pieces in a pile on the ground of my soul.  

Friday, August 2, 2013

how to face the demands of this day

today i have a very proud moment i would like to share with you, my dear friends...

my laundry is no longer to the point of overflowing all over onto the floor.   

at this very moment all of the dirty clothes in my house fit down in the FOUR bags hanging in my bedroom closet {plus the TWO plastic hampers in the hall}...
i did it!  

what?  you're not impressed?

i have never claimed to be the perfect homemaker {God bless my patient grace-filled recovering-neat-freak husband}.  
on the contrary,