Tuesday, April 8, 2014

high fives and my messy beautiful

If you saw me high-fiving my friend Mary outside of preschool last week this is why.  Allow me to set the stage...

{church parking lot nearly empty - evidence that we were late...again}

Mary waiting by her minivan with a baby on her hip because I saw that sadness in her eyes when we passed in the hall and I told her I wanted to know.
Me rushing out, taking deep breaths, after prying a screaming 4 year old off my leg because he just does that on weeks when daddy is out of town.
I finally reach her and we hug...the boy-this-gig-is-hard-but-i-understand kind of hug that only two mama friends can share.

I ask about the sad eyes and Mary explains...a death in her family...and it's one more heavy weight on top of everything else we already have to bear.  Our eyes well up and I attempt words meant to bring comfort but all I can really do is just be there and keep walking beside her so she's not alone...so I'm not alone.  We keep doing that for each other and I'm grateful.

We chat for a bit and as I begin to walk over to my own minivan she points to my clothes and says with a hopeful smile - you going to work out?

I look down at my yoga pants and tank under a hoodie jacket.  A laugh sneaks out and I say - no girl....this is what I slept in last night!

Her face lights up as she looks down at her own sweats and says - me too!

And then we high five.

I wanted to write a more thoughtful post for you today.  I've had some really deep and significant conversations with myself over the past week and I was hoping to carve them into words to share with you.
But today I'm running late...again.
And there are many things weighing heavy on me.
And I'm not showered and dressed and ahead of this day as I would like to be.

So will you just accept this virtual high five from me?

I know there must be parts of your life too in which you don't feel like you are measuring up
and your reality doesn't meet your expectation
and you can't quite get it all together
and you feel like everything you are doing is just not enough.

To that I say to you...
me too.

Solidarity messy beautiful warriors...solidarity!