Tuesday, October 14, 2014

NEW {day 14} :: what i haven't told you

This is the part of our 31 days when I stop my song and dance to sit down across the table from you and look into your eyes.  I have something that can't go unspoken, unqualified, any longer.
Sometimes I tread cautiously around the truth that I have built my life upon.

I do that not because I fear it would break or disintegrate in my hands.
It's a strong truth.
I do that not because I anticipate that it will change or be replaced by some more 'current' way of thinking.
It's a timeless truth.
No, the reason I haven't scooped it up and shoved it in your face is because I want my offering of this truth to be as perfect as the truth itself.
If I pick up the truth and frame it with explicit words and offer it to you as a gift, I'm afraid you won't see it's worth.
I'm afraid you will be disappointed
or offended
or dismissive.
I'm afraid you will think it's a gift you want to exchange or return for store credit.
I'm afraid I only have one chance to offer you this gift and if you say 'no' I will have wasted your one chance...but I'm giving myself way too much credit in that line of thinking.

I may have been dancing a bit these past several days.
I may have been singing verses of a song and never really getting to the chorus.
Today I stop the dancing and the singing to move a little more into your personal space and offer you something - the most precious something that I could ever offer you.
This is the thing that saved my life, that made me new.

So I'm closing my eyes tight and lacing my fingers together in my lap and taking a deep breath and praying that somehow, sometime, somewhere you will see and treasure this gift for what it is.  I hope you'll want to give it to someone else just as I am giving it to you.

Will you sit across the table from me tomorrow?  I will have a little something tied up with a ribbon of words for you.
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