Wednesday, October 8, 2014

NEW {day 8} :: drowning


{If you missed part 1 of this post, you can read it HERE.}

It felt different to be surrounded by so many new things but the newness only danced tauntingly around me, never penetrating skin and bone to make a real difference in my heart.  As it turns out, I hadn't left the mess behind, I was carrying it with me.
The mess was me.
And every new thing this world dangled in my face couldn't clean me up and set me free.


All my life I had 
worked hard
studied hard
tried hard to get along
…and yet in all my trying I couldn’t manufacture this new-ness that my heart longed for.  
I couldn’t make it work.
I failed to recognize this critical truth...
WE DON’T MAKE NEW.  WE ARE MADE NEW.

A strong work ethic, competitive spirit, and desire for success can stand defiantly in the way of what our hearts are truly longing for.

In that one simple statement,
     made new
that one simple relinquishment of authority to Something greater than ourselves, 
the floodgates swing wide and new finally rushes over us like an entire ocean's worth of water.  
We stop running
stop trying
stop searching
stop working
stop flailing around breathless...
and 
just 
start 
drowning.

Deeper,
deeper,
deeper, 
under the weight of the living water that presses that old life out of us until our hardened hearts stop beating and our self-righteous minds stop spinning.
And slowly
we float
back to the surface
a limp and lifeless version of ourselves
dead
until our cold, blank faces break through the surface and the warmth of holy breath is blown into our mouths, filling our lungs, giving us life...
new life.

And so we rise up, water dripping from our limbs, feeling alive for the first time.
We stand on the shores of redemption in the same skin and yet...
a
completely
new 
creation.

If we seek new in this temporal world, the impact will be temporary.
If we seek new in the hands that hold eternity, the impact will never end.
If a new spirit and new life is to be ours we must stop floating around in fleeting things and start diving into divine places.