Tuesday, May 19, 2015

find a way

You know it's bad when your six year old waits for the thundering words to quiet and then steps out into the hallway and looks you dead on -
     You know mommy, you guys just need to find a way to get along.

Having your own advice handed back to you can be a smack right across your face and the sweetest mercy all at once.

This blog is a place where I share the good and true things God is teaching me in this wild ride of life.  Some days it is a process of beautiful discovery,  but I have to be honest and say - I don't always find my way along flower-lined paths with a gorgeous glow of a sunset behind me.

More often than not I find my way by tripping over a root in a dark forest and falling flat on my face and having someone {i.e. my daughter} come to my rescue with words that bring me back to my senses.  It can be painful moving these old wounded joints that set me upright on my feet again.  Tripping over those roots reminds me of my own unseen sources of life and how necessary they are to the parts of me that are seen - and heard.

I went back to apologize to him.
And even though I was still frustrated - I meant it.
I was sorry the words came out the way they did.
I love my husband so dearly that you wouldn't believe me if I tried to explain it to you, but sometimes my actions don't match my intentions.  If I don't correct that quickly - the repercussions are dangerous.

Have you ever been sorry about something?
Oh goodness.  I've been sorry about so many things I've done, said, neglected, thought...
and when I don't find a way to express my regret - my apology - I leave the wound exposed and prone to deeper damage.

I don't even remember what our argument 'heated discussion' was about now, but I do remember that sweet little face speaking bold words with confidence.
...you guys just need to find a way...

In all my regularly scheduled failures I find -   intentions are nothing without actions to match.

Friendships and families have been broken apart for centuries because people couldn't do the hard work of making their actions override their feelings and support their intention - 
to love
to honor
to respect
to cherish
to stick it out together.

Where do you need to find a way today?  
Maybe you need a way back to your spouse, your child, your parent, your friend, your co-worker, your neighbor...
There's a way to say you're sorry.
There's a way to reconnect.
There's a way to reconcile.
There's a way to understand.
There's a way to make your intentions match your actions even when the feelings don't line up.

There's always a way to love because love is the way.  

It's how we do what we do.  It's why we do what we do.  
It's not based on momentary emotion.  It's based on lifetime commitment.  
It's not easy and comfortable.  It's hard and risky.  
It's the intention and the action combining for maximum impact.  
It's why it's the strongest force in the world.  
There's always a way...go find it.  

Wherever your love has 
been lost altogether - do the hard work, the heart work, of getting back to it.  
I would rather slow down and take the time to press my roots into a deeper source than keep running so recklessly I'm tripping and falling over everyone else's again and again.  In the long run you can imagine which one brings more pain.

And there are a million ways to do it.
So let's go find them.
Let's go find our way back to freedom and love today.