Wednesday, August 26, 2015

holding on and letting go

I was folding clothes on the couch when he asked me -
     So what is your giveaway?

That's it.  Right there.
I pointed to the piece of reclaimed wood propped up on our fire place.

That?

Thursday, August 20, 2015

when you feel like you don't matter

Sometimes I contemplate quitting my job.

Not my job as a wife or a mom.  The other one.
It's not that I am exceptionally good in my roles at home.  Just yesterday I let my kids watch too much t.v. and allowed them to jump on the furniture and fed them rolled up deli meat and apples for dinner.  And that was a good day.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

when your voice is muted

So there was this conference call.  
I had it on my schedule.  
It was a writer thing so it was kind of a big deal because I've felt called to do more writer things lately.
I told my husband that I would need to be available so he would be POD {parent on duty}.  

9pm on a Tuesday night.  No problem - or so I thought.

Monday, August 3, 2015

celebrate smallness

When I opened my eyes they were still there - the mountains -
just beyond the miles and miles of pine tops.

I sat like a bird perched in a tree on the deck that was ours for the night.  In honor of eleven years of marriage, we had exchanged the humidity of home for 24 hours away where the air was thiner.  The conditions were perfect to see the ridges painted blue rolled out on the horizon in front of me.

I grew up in the shadows of those mountains - someone so small next to something so big.
Just the sight of them feels like home.
And so I marvel at the very thing that feels
safe and familiar,
yet leaves me feeling small and weak.